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BP Gulf of Mexico 2010 oil spill

by david on Aug.11, 2010, under Accident, Fail, Funny, Images, Parody

No worries. BP is on it.

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Cultural Differences Noticed at the G20 meeting in Toronto

by david on Aug.11, 2010, under Images, Parody, Politic

The Canadian: Self-absorbed and disconnected from reality.
The American: Businesslike, unwilling to be distracted.
The French and the Italian: “LOOK AT THAT ASS!”

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iPhone 4 Antenna Youtube Parody

by david on Jul.31, 2010, under Parody, Videos

Hilarious!

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iPad of Mishaps

by david on May.04, 2010, under Jokes, Parody

AN astonishing new product called the iPad is popping up at shops all over the world, ­including on the street outside my office.

What does it do? I don’t know. How did it come to exist? That I can reveal. It all started with this scene at the headquarters of ­Apple Computers 18 months ago.

Two engineers are working on a MacBook laptop. Thud!

First engineer: “Oh no. The keyboard just fell off.”

Second engineer: “I got some glue somewhere.”

First engineer: “It would be just my bad luck if the door opened and Steve walked in right now.”

The door opens and their boss Steve Jobs walks in.

Steve: “So, what do you have there, guys? I hope it’s something cool and revolutionary.”

First engineer: “Er, yes, boss. It’s the first, er, keyboard-free ­laptop.”

Steve: “Interesting! But how do you type on it? You know ­everyone hates pressing ­on-screen keys.”

Second engineer: “Er, you buy a keyboard separately.”

Steve: “Sweet! I’m giving you two a pay rise and upgrading you to the monitor department.”
Two weeks later …

First engineer: “Oh no.”

Second engineer: “What’s wrong?”

First engineer: “I fed the wrong coordinates into the ­computer-aided design programme. This flat-screen monitor has come out ludicrously small. It would be just my bad luck if Steve walked in right now.”

The door opens and Steve walks in.

Steve: “What have you got there, guys? I hope it’s ­something cool and ­revolutionary.”

First engineer: “Er, yes, boss. It’s a new, portable flat screen TV.”

Steve: “But isn’t it too small for a family to watch movies on?”

Second engineer: “Everyone else has big flat screen TVs, but ours is deliberately too small. That’s the cool part.”

Steve: “Sweet! I’m giving you two a pay rise and upgrading you to the iPod department.”
Two weeks later …

First engineer: “Blast it.”

Second engineer: “What’s wrong?”

First engineer: “I was ­trying to make a new iPod Touch and forgot to change inches to ­centimetres in the computer-aided design programme. The thing has come out ­embarrassingly oversized. It would be just my bad luck if …”

Steve walks in. Steve: “What have you got there, guys? I hope it’s something cool and ­revolutionary.”

First engineer: “It’s a giant iPod Touch.”

Steve: “How do you get it in your pocket?”

Second engineer: “You can’t. You have to lug it around with your hands or in a bag. That’s the cool thing about it.”

Steve: “Sweet! I’m giving you two a pay rise and ­upgrading you to the iPhone ­department.”
Two weeks later …

Second engineer: “Steve’s coming. Have we got anything to show him?”

First engineer: “Let’s just show him these leftovers from our previous assignments.”

Steve walks in. Steve: “What have you got there, guys? I hope it’s something revolutionary.”

Second engineer: “Yeah, it’s a giant iPhone which is too big to hold up to your ear, so you can’t make calls on it. It doubles as a laptop with the keyboard broken off. At the same time, it’s an iPod Touch which you can’t fit into your pocket, and a flat screen TV that’s too small for the ­family to watch movies on.”

Steve: “Sweet!”

And so the IPad was born.

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Pray for a Bike

by david on Apr.24, 2010, under Children, Creative, Jokes, Parody

When i was a kid i used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn’t work that way, so i stole one and asked him to forgive me!

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