Fun, Funny, Hilarious, Relaxing Blog

Hayden: You are breaking up with me because I “smoke too much pot and like video games”?!! Are you fucking serious? Good luck finding a guy who will sit around doing nothing but sit around waiting for you because you were dumb enough to take 20 credit hours and are always too busy studying to do ANYThing fun. PS-I am GLAD you broke up with me, the sex was shit.

Biance: It wasn’t exactly stellar for me either. I couldn’t feel a thing.

Hayden: Maybe cause your vag is so loose, whore.

Biance: Actually, Hayden, as you well know, you were my first and only sexual partner. I was rather surprise when my first time didn’t hurt… at all. But now it all make sense. I just went to the doctor and found out my hymen is still intact.

Hayden: Fuck you, bitc. That’s impossible, we had sex SEVENTEEN times.

Bianca: … Exactly.

No porn. Sorry.

The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica: ‘What part of the human body increases to 10 times it’s normal size when excited?’
Jessica responds: ‘That’s disgusting! I don’t have to answer that question!’
So the teacher asks little Johnny, who responds: ‘That’s easy…the pupil of the eye.’ ‘That’s correct, Johnny. Very good!’
And turning to Jessica, she says: ‘I’ve three things to say to you, young lady… first, you didn’t do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you’re in for a big disappointment!’

Riding motorcycle the creative way.

I didn’t know masturbating will cause the shower drains to clog!